


meet me halfway

by cherishtxt



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Age Play Caregiver Choi Soobin, Age Play Little Huening Kai, Bathing/Washing, Bed-Wetting, Canon Compliant, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hurt Huening Kai, Little Space, Pet Names, Pre-debut, Sad Huening Kai, Soft Choi Soobin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-29
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27773434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cherishtxt/pseuds/cherishtxt
Summary: huening kai is taught to healthily alleviate his hurt.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Comments: 11
Kudos: 88





	1. lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don’t know? Why not?” 
> 
> Huening Kai laughs innocently, saying, “I’m too little…” 

The bathroom door is open a crack, revealing behind it the silhouette of a solitary occupant- one who hadn’t bothered to conceal his place of seclusion from all else. For a brief moment, Soobin observes the boy in all his hidden glory. Decidedly, he steps in. 

“Huening-ah?” Soobin waits to be acknowledged, but he’s merely met with a distant look in Huening Kai’s eyes. “Huening Kai? It’s Soobin-Hyeong…” 

“Ddubinie-Hyeong…” Kai whispers. His inflection strikes Soobin as rather unusual. It’s not terribly surprising, however, considering Kai is known to often incorporate aegyo in his speech.

“Yes, Kai-yah. Soobinie-Hyeong is here. What’s the matter, Baby?” An unexpected giggle escapes Huening’s throat. It harshly contrasts the otherwise somber atmosphere. 

“I’on know…” he explains, lips pursed into a pout. Though his words are rather unilluminating, Huening’s soft vowels make Soobin smile earnestly.

He investigates further, “You don’t know? Why not?” Huening Kai laughs innocently.

“I’m too little…” 

“Little…” Soobin is at a loss; their maknae is acting terribly out of character. He places a gentle hand on Huening Kai’s cheek and says, “I’ve been worried about you, Little One.” Quickly, Kai’s expression sobers up. He opts to stare at the ground as opposed to looking Soobin in the eyes. 

“I…” his eyes fall closed. A sudden surge of shame emerges in the form of tears trickling down his eyelashes. “Hueningie is sorry…” he mumbles.

“That’s alright, Honey. You’ve done nothing wrong,” Soobin consoles him, face falling into a frown. “It’s okay.” He lowers his hand onto Huening Kai’s shoulder and caresses the skin below his sleeve. With a subtle smile on his face, Soobin guides Huening Kai into his inviting arms, allowing the maknae a moment to weep his tears away. Silent as a sleeping star, Hueningie sobs against his collar bone. 

Some minutes pass before Huening stirs in his hold, alerting Soobin’s attention at once. He watches Kai’s pupils travel from the dimples on his cheek to his cautious, brown eyes.

Eyes wide, mouth agape, and head tilted, he speaks up, “Daddy?” Soobin stares still, matching Kai’s curious expression over time.

Then, as if it’s second nature, Soobin responds, “Yes, Baby?” Playing along proves worth it when a sweet purr sounds from Hueningie’s throat.

“Wanna…” Silence ensues as Kai is unable to complete his own sentence.

“Hm? What is it, Baby?” Soobin investigates. “Are you tired?” Whether or not it’s accurate to Huening Kai’s original sentiment, his hunch turns out to be applicable. 

“Mhm…” Huening Kai sulks. 

“Come on, then. We’re going to bed, “ Soobin decides, already standing up. He offers a hand to Huening Kai, expecting to support him standing up. Instead, however, Kai reaches out, making grabby hands in the process, and bounces ever so slightly.

“Uppy!” he exclaims. Soobin inwardly rolls his eyes at his own misjudgment. Swiftly, he sweeps the younger boy off his knees and carries him out the bathroom. Though he’s being held in perfectly capable hands, Kai latches onto Soobin’s torso with all his might, blissfully unaware of how tall he really is.

Soobin takes long strides into their shared bedroom, ultimately laying the boy down onto their abandoned bunk bed covered in plushies. Right away, Kai latches on to the biggest one, Tobin, and hugs it tightly.

“Cuties…” Soobin marvels, referring to both Huening Kai and his plushie. Huening Kai hums contentedly, burying his face into the fabric. While he’s distracted, Soobin grabs a spare blanket to cover Hueningie’s cold body with. Having taken care of that, he kneels down beside the bed and reaches out to pet the long, brown hair on the back of Kai’s head before bidding him a quiet farewell, “Goodnight, Baby.” He stands up with the intention of leaving for his own bed, but he’s interrupted when a careful hand wraps around his wrist from behind. He peers over his right shoulder in a questioning manner.

“Go?” asks Huening Kai, peeking at Soobin from between Tobin’s two ears.

“Would you like me to stay?”

“Daddy stay…” he, rather weakly, asserts. Soobin chuckles, facing the floor.

“Of course, Little Prince.” He slips under the covers, snuggling into Huening as soon as he’s situated himself in bed. He listens to Huening Kai’s short breaths, studying the way they sound. Lightly squeezing his waist, Soobin falls asleep in Huening Kai’s comforting company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading~ let me know what you think :)


	2. spill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hueningie’s eyes twinkle when he smiles up in Soobin’s direction and says the words, “Thank you, Daddy…” 
> 
> This time, Soobin fails to startle at the title. He merely smiles back.

In the middle of the night, Huening Kai wakes up, frozen in place and soaking in an accumulation of warm liquid beneath him; tears manage to form in his sleepy eyes, and he whimpers under his breath, mortified with himself. He lies still, trying to inspire a bit of courage within himself, worrying his lips all the while, to wake Soobin from his oblivious state. 

He manages, “Soobin…” The name feels foreign on his lips despite it being one he’s certainly familiar with speaking. “S-soobin!” Huening Kai hisses into the air. 

Rationale clouded by drowsiness, Soobin is tugged awake by the persistent calls. The digital clock in the corner of their bedroom reads 4:37AM. The blinds are shut tightly, allowing no illumination to push past the window panes. The members are sleeping noiselessly in their respective beds, making Huening Kai’s voice the only thing drawing Soobin’s immediate attention. Not to mention, the bedsheets are remarkably damp. He’s sure he can deduce plenty about the current circumstances unassisted, but it’s only right to communicate with the distraught boy to his right first and foremost.

“Huening Kai?” Finally receiving a response should be relieving, but it only helps to emphasize the reality of the situation for Kai. 

He shuts his eyes tightly before confessing, “I wet the bed.” The embarrassment outweighs his initial bravery, forcing more tears out from his already dehydrated eyes. “I’m- I-” his breath hitches, interrupting him. “I sorry!” he cries, exasperated. 

Soobin is quick to interrupt, “It’s okay.” He hushes Huening Kai from apologizing any further. “Wait here,” he instructs. Then, with one quick motion, he’s sat upright against the bed frame. He searches for an area of dryness on their sheets and uses it to wipe his legs as best he can before stepping out of bed. He holds his arms out, saying, “Uppy…” like he remembers being told earlier. Uncharacteristically quiet, Hyuka complies, placing his arms around Soobin’s broad shoulders and wrapping his legs around Soobin’s waist. He’s dripping wet, but Soobin doesn’t seem too bothered by it, only concerned with keeping their floor untainted.

Promptly, Soobin tip-toes towards the towel rack hanging from their bathroom door and takes one of the many plain, grey towels from the bunch. Once he’s entered the bathroom, he places the towel over the toilet’s closed lid then rushes into the bathtub so that he and Kai can separate out over the safety of the enameled steel. With his hands full, Soobin had failed to close the bathroom door behind them, but he takes the time to draw the curtains closed now.

He undresses both Huening Kai and himself, piling their clothes at the far right edge of the bathtub. He then positions a plastic bucket underneath the tap before turning it on, causing a rush of water to smack the object’s surface.

“Sit,” he orders. Huening Kai sits down, cross-legged. Soobin follows. He decides to take care of himself first. He works fast, using a coarse, white washcloth to scrub his skin with soap, then he scoops some water from the bucket into a relatively small, pink pail to rinse himself off with. When he’s done with himself, he turns his attention towards Huening Kai. “I’ll wash you, Baby.” Kai blushes, both bashful about being bathed and ashamed about his actions.

“S-sorry…” he stutters through an additional apology. Soobin sighs, sympathetic.

“You couldn’t help it, Baby. It happens.” He pours warm water over Huening Kai’s shoulder and watches it stream down his body. He spots a fluffy, blue loofah out of the corner of his eye and reaches for it, eventually covering it in thick body wash. Kai closes his eyes, relishing in the sweet comfort of Soobin’s care. He’s cleaned thoroughly, and the endeavour ends far more pleasantly than it had started. Soobin dries himself off, steps out of the bath, and then rubs Huening Kai down next, making sure to pay extra attention to his tummy out of pure affection.

Hueningie’s eyes twinkle when he smiles up in Soobin’s direction and says the words, “Thank you, Daddy…” This time, Soobin fails to startle at the title. He merely smiles back.

“You’re welcome, Precious.” He ruffles Kai’s newly washed hair and announces, “I want you to wait here. I’m going to bring you clean clothes to wear. Does that sound okay?”

“Okay…” At that, Soobin exits the bathroom, taking the empty bath bucket with him.

After some time, Huening Kai who’s impatiently swaying from side to side is stopped in his tracks once he realizes that Soobin has returned, fully changed. The first thing he does once he’s approached Kai is drop off a bucket full of soiled sheets and stained plushies into the tub. New clothes in one hand, Soobin gestures for him to raise his arms, so he does, and he’s subsequently changed into a simple, yellow top. Next, Soobin pulls a pair of boxers and some black shorts up his legs until they’re put into place. Satisfied, he steps back. He doesn’t even have to ask before Huening Kai leaps into his arms, getting used to the feeling of being carried. 

“Feeling better?”

“Better…” Kai admits. He’s brought to the bedroom and placed on Soobin’s bunk this time. 

“Okay.” Soobin sighs, knowing he’ll have to leave again. “I have to go clean your mess now, Bub.” Now that Huening Kai has experienced being left alone, he’s not fully on board with this course of action.

“Go?”

“Yes, Baby. Go,” he confirms.

“Bye-bye?” Kai questions as though he doesn’t quite understand why such a thing would be happening. Soobin comes up with an idea.

“If Daddy gives Baby a kiss good-bye, can he go?” The thought undeniably pleases Huening Kai.

“Ppo-ppo!” He puckers his lips out as far as he can manage, appearing fatally adorable.

“Muah!” Soobin kisses the air just centimeters away from Huening Kai’s lips, satisfying his promise well enough for the both of them. “Bye-bye, Baby.” Huening Kai giggles, easily satiated. He fidgets with the sheets, basking in Soobin’s scent while he waits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading~ let me know what you think :)


	3. trust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you sure?” Soobin prods. “I really think we should talk.” Huening Kai holds his pout but considers it.
> 
> Then, he compromises, “Only if you promise me one thing.”
> 
> “What is it?” 
> 
> Softly, Huening Kai requests, “Don’t look at me.”

While the dirty cloth drowns in a mixture of laundry detergent and cold water, Soobin snatches the hair dryer from their medicine cabinet, taking it to the scene of the incident. He ends up spending a good twenty minutes heating the moist mattress into desiccation. It’s as good as it’s going to get, he decides, and the window panes come plummeting down as he passes them on his way back into the bathroom, intending to ventilate the room.

He spends his sweet time hand-washing the laundry, especially when it comes to Hueningie’s prized plushies. In the end, he leaves the cleaned cloth in the bathtub; he can put things out to dry in the morning. Considering the commotion he’s made, it’s a miracle that he hasn’t disturbed anyone’s slumber, but he understands first-hand that long work days make a heavy sleeper out of you.

Huening Kai, on the other hand, is wide awake and slowly regaining the consciousness he’d lost after entering that godforsaken bathroom last evening. He had run in, stressed and upset after being sent home early from a dance lesson dominated by his chronic ineptitude. He hadn’t known what to do with himself, so he kneeled below the sink and waited to be found.

Now, he finds himself lying in Soobin-Hyeong’s bed. It smells of lavender, sweet and delicate. Though, lavender does nothing to fight the foreboding sense of dread that plants itself in his mind. He lies, unmoving until Soobin exits into the room and gradually approaches his bed.

“Kai-yah?” Soobin calls, picking up on the fact that Kai isn’t asleep. Habitually, Huening Kai’s guards drop like dominoes.

“Soobin…” He sounds pained, almost.

“Yes, Kai?”

“What the fuck is happening?” Out of instinct, Soobin’s eyebrows furrow. 

“It’s 5:23AM,” he informs, glancing at the clock. “You woke me up about an hour ago. I told you to stay in bed while I was cleaning. I assume you haven’t been able to sleep since?” Kai stares blankly, processing the information he’s been provided. He doesn’t say a word. “Kai? What’s wrong?” Soobin sits at the edge of the bed, one hand on Huening Kai’s limp leg and the other resting at his side.

“I messed up…” he mutters, avoiding eye contact with Soobin.

“Hm?” Kai spaces out entirely. He remembers how it felt when he was found: how relieved he had been to hear Soobin’s name, how safe he had felt in Soobin’s arms, how easy it was to let go of his self-restraint. “What do you mean, Kai?”

“I…” He seems reluctant. “I started acting weird.”

“You haven’t been feeling well, have you?” 

“Shouldn’t we sleep? We have work in the morning.” He pulls the most persuasive puppy-dog eyes he possibly can, but it’s unfortunately futile.

“Are you sure?” Soobin prods. “I really think we should talk.” Huening Kai holds his pout but considers it.

Then, he compromises, “Only if you promise me one thing.”

“What is it?” 

Softly, Huening Kai requests, “Don’t look at me.” Normally, Soobin would laugh at such a trivial request, but he doesn’t now. He knows to restrain his inconsiderate instincts and respect Huening’s wishes, whatever they may be.

“Okay, Sweetheart.” Slowly, he closes his eyes to the sight before him and leans back. “Talk to me.” 

“Hyeong…” Soobin remains silent. “I… I’m, uh, sorry.” 

“Why's that, exactly?”

“I… I don’t know where to start.” Soobin caresses Huening Kai’s thigh, aiming to ease his anxiety.

“How about you start by answering my question…” 

“What question?”

“How have you been feeling lately?” Huening's head hangs low, unbeknownst to his hyeong.

“…Scared,” he admits.

“Scared of?”

“Just… myself.”

"You scare yourself… Why?”

“It’s because,” he whispers. “When I’m alone, I start feeling bad.”

“Is that so?” Soobin plans on revisiting this statement at some point in the future. For now, he wonders, “Have Hyeongs been neglecting you?”

“Hyeongs treat me well,” Kai expresses. “…I kind of find myself wanting more.”

“Hm…” Anticipating a response, he bites his chapped lips, tearing a shred of skin off. “What do you mean by more?” Soobin senses his body stiffen, yet subtle breaths still serve as a sign of life. 

“I want…" Kai whines. "I don't know what I want.”

"Neither do I," Soobin smiles. "But if I could take a guess..."

"Hm?"

"In the future, do you want to be taken care of?"

"I- I guess."

“Seriously... you’ve been calling me Daddy?” At once, Kai’s cheeks begin to burn. “Why?”

“Hyeong…”

“I don't mind it, Baby. It was just... unexpected?” A brief pause passes, then Soobin adds, “You can be honest, Hueningie. I’d never punish you for telling the truth, but it’s no good to lie.” Huening Kai feels his eyes water, both relieved and overwhelmed. He chooses to confess.

“It’s just that… Sometimes, I start feeling very confused and, uh, small? Kind of like…”

“A child?” 

“Mhm…” he whimpers. “A-and, when that happens, I feel like I need a lot of guidance and care..."

“So, in that moment, you felt like I was your caregiver,” Soobin concludes.

"I guess so..."

“Does this happen often?”

“Uh, I don’t really know… I always feel like it might, but I’ve never made the mistake of acting out in front of anyone.” Belatedly, a swell of humiliation hits. “God, this is so embarrassing!” Soobin can’t help but laugh.

“Aw… Is cute, little Hueningie blushing? What a shame I can’t see him… I’m missing all the action.” He fakes being devastated by the fact, but, at the same time, he really does want to open up his eyes sometime soon.

“…not cute, not little, and definitely not blushing!!!”

“Please… I already know you’re adorable.”

“No way! I’m scary, remember?”

“Oh yeah? Prove it,” Soobin cleverly requests. “Let me take a look.” 

“Oh…” Kai takes a deep breath in preparation. “If you insist…” Soobin’s dark eyes open wide, now holding a newfound perspective.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading~ tell me what you think :)


	4. tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What’s wrong with me?” Soobin’s chest aches with empathy.
> 
> “Nothing,” he declares. “Nothing is wrong with you.”

  
Morning comes sooner than either of them would like it to. Rays of sunlight crash over their closed eyelids, adamantly calling for their attention. The day is coated in warmth, but Soobin and Huening Kai find each other’s company warmer. 

Reluctantly, Soobin’s eyes creep open, alerting him to the commotion around their dorm. He glances at the boy sleeping soundly to his right, mouth parted and lashes fluttering lightly. It’s a shame that he’ll have to wake that pretty face, but he has no choice; they’re expected at the practice room in mere minutes.

“Huening-ah,” he beckons. “Wake up.” There’s no time to ease him awake, so Soobin resorts to shaking his static body by the shoulder until his eyes shoot open. “Wake up!”

“Hyeong!” Huening Kai exclaims suddenly. “What time is it?”

“7:24.”

“Fuck… We’re going to be late!”

“It’s fine, Kai-yah. Just go get ready.” Promptly, he scrambles out of bed, crawling over Soobin’s body in the process, and heads to the closet they all share to grab a plain, pink hoodie and put it over his chest for optimal comfort. Using the sweater sleeves, he rubs his eyes in an attempt to appear less sluggish and unfinished. Meanwhile, Soobin hastily runs a hand through his hair and deems himself ready to go. The pair exits to the living room together, running into the other members by the dining table.

“You’re here,” Taehyun acknowledges. Huening Kai smiles sheepishly, sorry for being late.

“Let’s go,” their leader simply asserts, and they leave the dorm room together.

* * *

The week whizzes by, disappearing without a trace. It’s a chilly Sunday evening when Soobin, out of the blue, thinks to pay Hueningie a brief visit. 

He locates Kai at the dining table in their living room, unmindfully resting his head on one hand. Slowly, Soobin approaches him, waving warily as to avoid startling the boy. Kai’s eyes dart upward when he notices Soobin’s movements out of the corner of his periphery. 

“Hyeong?”

“Hey,” Soobin greets. “Can I sit with you?”

“Uh… Of course, Hyeong.” Kai feels a bit bashful in Soobin’s company, particularly thrown off by the elder explicitly addressing his own presence, even asking for permission for it.

“Thanks, Baby.” Faint redness climbs up Kai’s cheeks, and his heart rate accelerates ever so slightly. Recently, the pet-names have been hitting differently. He lets out an awkward chuckle and motions for Soobin to sit, which he does. Noticing Huening’s nervous mannerisms, he softly asks, “Are you okay?” Kai’s breath hitches, practically answering the question for itself.

“Mhm…” Soobin’s expression looks genuinely confused for a moment, but he trains it into a smile in no time.

“I’ve been thinking about you,” he reveals. With their busy schedule in the way, Soobin hadn’t been able to catch a moment alone with Kai until now.

“What about?” Kai wonders, shy.

“Just wondering how you’ve been…” A part of him wants to be closer to Soobin, mostly for the purposes of hiding in the abyss that is his embrace, but he’s too uncertain to ask.

“I’ve been…” he starts, debating telling the truth or not. He supposes there’s no real point in lying. “I’ve been kind of sad.” He bites his lips, avoiding eye contact at all costs. 

“I see,” he whispers, glancing down at Hueningie’s hands. Finally, he reaches for them before loosely latching on. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Huening Kai doesn’t know what comes over him when he responds, “Yes, please…” It’s against his better judgement to offer himself up so easily, but that fails to get in the way of his honesty.

“Okay, Love,” Soobin allows. “Tell me, what do you think about when you feel sad?”

“I… I usually think about, uh, myself.”

“What kinds of thoughts?”

“...about how fucked up I am.” Soobin nods in understanding.

“What makes you think that?”

“I… I don’t want to tell you, Hyeong.”

“That’s okay,” he permits. “You don’t have to, but… Tell me, once you notice those thoughts in your head, what do you do?” 

“I… I cry,” Huening Kai tells. Soobin’s eyes hold no judgement, and, for that, Kai is grateful.

“Do you feel different afterwards?”

“Sometimes.”

“Do you ever feel happy?”

“Of course I do…”

“When?”

“When I’m with you, Hyeong.” 

Taken aback, Soobin questions, “Why?”

“Because,” Kai begins. “You’re so… Why are you so nice to me, Hyeong?” There isn’t a simple answer to the question; Soobin’s reasons are piled so high that there’s no telling what each one says, but it’s clear what they make up: love- the kind of love that’s easy to understand but difficult to explain. 

“I can’t help it, Love.”

“Why?” he insists.

“You’re a good kid. Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”

The question is rhetorical, but Kai answers regardless, “Because I’m not good…”

“Not good?” Soobin raises his eyebrow. “What does that make you, then?”

“Bad.”

“Because…?”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Why not?”

“You’ll hate me…” Soobin’s lips tilt into a smirk.

“I’d never.” 

“Oh.” Awkward, Kai fidgets with Soobin’s fingernails.

Sighing, Soobin relents, “It’s alright, Baby. We won’t talk about it.” Huening Kai nods meekly, satisfied. “You feel happy around me because I’m nice? Is that what you’re meaning to tell me?”

“I think so…”

“Do you remember what you told me that night?”

“What…?”

“You feel scared when you’re alone.”

“Oh,” he sighs, heart pounding steadily. “I remember.”

“When you’re alone…” Soobin tries. “Are you being nice to yourself?” His question pierces into Kai like a bullet. Instead of responding verbally, he shakes his head, eyes shut tightly to hold back his tears. 

“Baby…” Soobin exhales, disheartened. “You deserve better.” Coming from Soobin, it’s hard not to believe.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and he truly is.

“Don’t be…” Soobin intertwines their fingers together and tugs at his arms, implying that Kai should come closer. So, he does. He takes full advantage of the offer by lifting off of his seat and placing himself in Soobin’s lap instead, melting away like candle wax in the warmth. Soon, hiccups and quiet cries fill the room. “It’s okay, Love. It’s not your fault,” Soobin speaks softly into his ear. “Don’t be sorry.”

“Hyeongie…”

“Yes, Baby?”

“What’s wrong with me?” Soobin’s chest aches with empathy.

“Nothing,” he declares. “Nothing is wrong with you.” Kai frantically shakes his head.

“You’re wrong…” he protests, displeased.

“No, Kai,” Soobin insists. “It’s not wrong to fall short of the expectations. It’s not wrong to feel sensitive or to get overwhelmed at times.” He lets out a shaky exhale. “It’s not your fault for misunderstanding your worth either; you were taught wrong.” 

“Soobin…” Kai’s lips are parted and eyes are still closed. “How are you so sure?”

“I learned… the hard way.”

“And now you know?”

“I don’t know everything.”

“I know, Hyeong.” Huening Kai leans forward, eyes fluttering open before he touches the tip of his nose with Soobin’s. “But I learn something new everytime I’m with you.” Soobin smiles fondly.

“So do I, Angel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading~ let me know what you think :)


	5. cut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...Daddy,” he says. “For me?” Soobin stills, hyper cognizant of their camera director’s close company. He rushes to pull Kai into a protective hold.
> 
> “Of course, Baby. Anything for you.”

“Look!”

“What is it?” Huening Kai points towards a baby blue stuffie in the shape of a shark.

“This…” 

Naturally, Soobin caresses its minky skin, offering Hyuka a show of his shared interest.

“It’s adorable.” Huening Kai looks up at him timidly.

“...Daddy,” he says. “For me?” Soobin stills, hyper cognizant of their camera director’s close company. He rushes to pull Kai into a protective hold.

“Of course, Baby. Anything for you.” The initial shock of being repositioned is quickly undermined by joy. Huening Kai hums against Soobin’s neck, delighted to be indulged. With his arms wrapped around Huening Kai’s hunched shoulders, Soobin mouths the words, “Please, cut.” Amazingly, the staff member obliges, and their publicity is put to a pause.

Slowly, Soobin loosens his grip on Kai, allowing him space to speak, “Thank you, Daddy.” Judging by the adoration in Huening’s expression, it would have been regrettable to refuse him. 

“You’re welcome.” Soobin takes the doll in his hands and brings it over to a checkout station with Huening Kai waddling along behind. Once he’s paid, he passes the plushie to its rightful owner before meeting eyes with their camera director.

“Soobin-ssi…” she says, tapping her foot upon the floor repeatedly.

“I’m so sorry, Gamdong-Nim,” Soobin responds. “May we take a break?” The apprehension is evident on her face, but she allows it in the end.

“Don’t take long.” 

“Thank you…” She merely nods before stepping aside and leaning against the shop’s concrete exterior. 

Soobin turns his attention back towards Huening Kai. He’s seemingly engaged in a telepathic exchange, fully committed to getting acquainted with his new plushie. It’s an endearing sight.

“Kai-yah,” he calls. The Maknae turns towards him, eyes shining vibrantly. Underneath his bright exterior, there lies a layer of dismay; he’s clueless of his whereabouts. “Can I ask you something?” Soobin requests.

“Y-yes…” 

“How are you feeling, Baby?”

“Uh…” After some thought, Kai concludes, “Confused.” Soobin frowns sympathetically and moves closer.

“Poor thing…” He places a hand on Huening’s waist. “How about we rest for some time? I don’t want to overwhelm you, Precious.”

“Please.” Huening Kai leans into the touch. 

Soobin strengthens his grip on Kai’s waist, sheltering him from their surroundings. Once he’s well situated, he delicately rocks from side to side, eyes closed yet attentive as ever. They stay slow dancing under the sun for several minutes before someone, namely Huening Kai, abruptly puts a stop to the endeavour. 

Maintaining his composure, Soobin asks, “What is it, Love?”

“Hyeong… We- What’s happening?”

“We’re at the aquarium shooting an episode of Talk X Today. It’s around noon right now, and we’ll be filming until early evening. Eunhwa Gamdong-Nim is with us,” he describes.

“Okay,” Kai nods. “I’m sorry… I already knew that…”

“That’s okay.”

“Thank you…”

“Anytime, Love. How are you feeling, by the way?”

“I’m… a little- kind of light? I feel strange…”

“Take your time adjusting, okay? Breathe for me.” Huening Kai lets his eyelids fall shut and inhales through his nose, gradually releasing the air back out and feeling relaxed afterwards. When he reopens his eyes and meets Soobin’s gaze, he’s informed, “We’re going to be on camera again soon.”

“Okay…”

“If you need anything, you let me know. I’ll take care of you as best I can…” Soobin faces the floor as he speaks, not entirely confident with his own abilities but devoted nonetheless. “I’m right here, Kai.”

“Thank you, Hyeong…” 

* * *

“Okay…” Eunhwa squints into her camera’s viewfinder. “Cut!” She lowers it, allowing the equipment to hang freely by its strap, and looks up at the idols before her. 

“Well done,” states Soobin, bowing alongside Huening Kai. 

“Well done,” Eunhwa returns politely. She pauses briefly before continuing, “There’s something I want to discuss before you go…” The idols turn towards her expectantly.

“Sure… What is it?” Soobin wears a brave face, but, unlike usual, he spends more time staring stubbornly at the building’s beige walls than he does looking Eunhwa in the eyes. 

“Well… you handled things well today, but I have to remind you… I may have been the only one around today, but, soon, you’ll be in the public eye, so you’ll need to be careful how you act.” Subtle is the accusation, but, still, it stings. Huening Kai gazes frigidly at the floor.

Voice reserved, he speaks up, “I’m sorry, Gamdong-Nim. I didn’t mean to… cause any trouble.”

“You’re not in trouble, Huening-ssi,” she promises. “I just mean to warn you.”

Still, Kai tells her, “Understood. It won’t happen again.” With him, Soobin nods.

“We’ll see about that.” Eunhwa smiles, easy. “Just… take care, alright?”

“Thank you, Eunhwa-ssi.” Soobin says, bowing respectfully. “I think we’ll be going now…” The room is promptly filled with final goodbyes, but, after departing, their walk back to the dormitory is speechless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi~
> 
> i'd just like to acknowledge that i've not been very consistent about updating this. to be honest, i'm struggling to come up with anything i can be satisfied enough with to post. i have tons of unused drafts for this story. anyways, i just wanted to say that i plan on completing the story, but it may take some time. i'd really benefit from some constructive feedback if you'd be so kind. sometimes i just can't put my finger on the issues in my own writing. thanks for reading, those of you who are!
> 
> -author


	6. still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I’ll be there to look out for you.”
> 
> “Please… always be there.”

“Fuck!” Huening Kai slams the door shut and drops to the ground. His face is rather red, and he’s panting under his breath.

“Holy shit…” Soobin kneels down in front of him, reaching out with both arms. “You’re okay, Love… Breathe, please.” Kai clenches his fists around Soobin’s exposed wrists, and his heavy breathing soon dominates the soundscape. Occasionally, a hiccup sounds from his throat.

Teary eyed, Huening Kai grumbles “Hyeong…”

“Hm?”

“I’m scared…” He sniffles softly. “What if… it happens again?”

Soobin, pouting, declares, “I’ll keep you safe…”

“…you will?”

“Kai…” He takes a deep breath, gathering his courage. “I want to be able to take care of you you at times like those." He pauses, troubled. "Actually, I already do, and I haven't been very considerate of how that might make you feel; I need your… permission.”

“You have it, Hyeong…”

“Okay,” Soobin can't help but smile, relieved. “I’m sorry… I didn’t ask earlier.”

“No,” Kai refutes. “I’m sorry, Hyeong. I don’t know why this keeps happening…”

“What are you apologizing for, Kai-yah?”

“I mean… burdening you, of course. Why should you have to deal with me?”

“Baby…” Soobin pulls his hands into Huening’s. “Believe me, you’re not a burden.” 

“Do you mean it?” Huening Kai frowns, disbelieving.

“I mean it.” His voice holds strong, denying all doubt.

“Okay…” Kai sighs deeply. “I’ll believe you.” Soobin’s lips curl at the corners, conveying content.

He states, “I’m so curious.” His head tilts as he examines Huening Kai’s wet eyes. “I wonder…” Butterflies flutter in Kai’s stomach under the attention, and his breathing gets shallower.

“Yeah?”

“…What’s its purpose?”

“Hm? I- I’m not sure.” Kai gnaws at his already damaged lips; it burns. “Usually, once I get overwhelmed, I just… retreat- to forget the things that hurt me.” 

“I see…” Soobin rubs his palms, soothing his agitation. “Do you remember what made you retreat earlier today?” Huening Kai gulps, facing the floor. His hands shake in Soobin’s hold.

“The plushie…”

“It triggered you?” He nods slowly, and Soobin catches on. “…a positive trigger.”

“That’s so scary, Soobin.” 

Frowning, Soobin replies, “It is, isn’t it?”

“It could happen anywhere…”

“I know… and I’ll be there to look out for you.”

“Please… always be there.”

* * *

Huening Kai lies atop his mattress, holding perfectly still. It’s cold, and he’s lonely. His hyeongs are each no more than a couple of meters out of reach, but he resists the urge to disturb them. Indeed, he stays perfectly still.

Though, before long, he becomes restless. His toes begin to squirm, and the heels of his feet brush against one another as he alternately flexes his knees. For the most part, the pressure feels comforting; though, it’s not nearly enough. Abruptly, he’s drawn upright from his previously reclined position in bed, and he finds himself staggering down the ladder against his will. 

Meeting the floor, he takes a look around, and, naturally, his gaze locks onto a certain someone: Choi Soobin, a practical safe haven in his eyes. Huening Kai gulps, staring longingly at Soobin’s sleeping form. 

“It’s okay,” he whispers to himself. “Okay…” Step by step, he follows Soobin’s lavender scent. He leans forward, awkward, and calls out, “Soobin-Hyeong?” His hands come in contact with Soobin’s skin underneath the covers, and he prods at it timidly.

“Huening Kai?” Soobin murmurs, coming awake. He lifts his head towards Huening.

“Y-yes.” 

“What is it, Kai-yah?” he asks, voice apparently fatigued. Kai is forced to swallow the guilt of having denied Soobin some night’s rest. 

Quietly, he whimpers, “May I…?” Easily, Soobin understands, and he slides to the inner end of his bed, making room for Huening Kai to join him.

“Come,” he directs, fully conscious at this point. Heart pounding, Kai crawls onto the bed and lies on his right side, facing Soobin. He didn’t come prepared to fall asleep, that much Soobin can tell. “Talk to me…” 

Obedient, Huening responds, “Okay, Hyeong.” He glances down at his fingers, fidgeting with them nervously. “What do I say?” Soobin carefully thinks it through.

He eventually decides, “Tell me what’s keeping you up.”

“Oh…” Kai hesitates to answer. “I need to ask you a question.”

“What’s that?” Soobin says, eyes closed. His voice is as quiet as the night.

“Is it… weird for you?” 

Unfit to be making drastic inferences, Soobin questions, “What?” 

“I mean…” The atmosphere grows stiff. “…when I turn small.”

“Not really,” he states, realizing Kai’s inquiry. “Is it weird for you?”

Huening Kai sighs, “…a little bit.”

“Yeah?”

“But, at the same time… It f-feels like the most natural thing.” 

“How nice.” 

“It is…” He traces the creases in his fingers. “Hyeong?”

“Yes, Baby?”

“What if…” Huening Kai inhales shakily. “If I…” Sleepily, Soobin rubs circles into Huening’s hip. His nails graze over skin, sending chills down the other’s spine. He doesn’t speak a word. “Hyeong…” Soobin nods, a subtle show of encouragement. “What if I wanted it sometimes?” Kai finally speaks out. 

Soobin comfortably answers, “You could have it, then.”

“…You’d let me?”

“If you’d let yourself…” He clears his throat. “If you were aware, prepared, and safe.”

“Oh…” Soobin inwardly tut-tuts his reticence.

He offers, “What do you say we try it at some point?” Huening Kai has been struck silent, but he manages to nod feverishly against Soobin’s collar. Giggling at his antics, Soobin whispers, “Go to sleep.” Gradually Kai’s breathing evens out as he falls asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading~ let me know what you think :)


	7. scent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There’s something I wanted to ask you.”
> 
> “What’s that?”
> 
> “Well, it’s about… Hueningie. Is everything okay with him?” Soobin grins to himself.
> 
> “Funny you ask me…” 

The practice room smells mainly of sweat and citrus perfume. Panting, Taehyun takes note of this as he’s finally given the chance to take a break from their painstaking practice session. His head rests languidly against Soobin’s shoulder sleeve, rising and falling with each breath. 

“Hyeong…” he calls, voice unstable. Soobin’s eyes flit open at the invitation.

“Hm?” 

“Can we step out for a second?”

“…sure, Hyunnie.” It’s simple as that before they stagger to their feet and saunter out the door. The instructor eyes them suspiciously as they go but doesn’t make any move to intervene. “What is it, Hyun?” Soobin asks once they’re away.

“It’s just that…” Taehyun sighs. “There’s something I wanted to ask you.”

“What’s that?”

“Well, it’s about… Hueningie,” the maknae clarifies. He nervously glances to the side, large eyes gleaming under the light. “Uh, is everything okay with him?” Soobin grins to himself.

“Funny you ask me…” 

“He only ever tells you…” Taehyun pouts, meaning no harm.

Still, Soobin asserts, “…doesn’t mean I can tell you.” He lowers his gaze slightly.

“I… I’m just worried, Hyeong.”

“I know you are, Honey,” Soobin recognizes. “I can talk to him if you’d like.”

“Could you?” 

Smiling, he says, “Sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi,
> 
> i apologize for the short chapter. i thought it to be appropriate considering how little progress i've made in some time. i didn't want to leave things stagnant for too long, but i plan to review everything in the end and organize this into something decent. i believe this work will conclude soon! i'm looking forward to the finished product. sorry for basically publishing haphazardly made drafts in the meantime. despite it all, i hope you are enjoying this story~
> 
> -author


	8. lead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”
> 
> “Right!” Beomgyu smiles. “We’ll gladly take care of you.”

Huening Kai waits by the doorway, nearly hyperventilating in anticipation. His stomach turns with unease when the members finally arrive. Soobin is, predictably, the first to enter, with Beomgyu, Taehyun, and Yeonjun trailing closely behind. He shows off a soothing smile while strolling to Huening’s side, insinuating a safe space for the five of them to share.

“Take a seat,” he leads the group, and they follow. “Today, Maknae offered to start us off, so, Huening-ah, why don't you go ahead?” All eyes turn towards Kai, especially eager to hear what he has to say.

“Mm…” His task had seemed much easier before the fact; however, the familiar press of a hand against his back relaxes him into slowly starting, “…I think I owe you an explanation.” His mind moves before his mouth can properly catch up. “I’ve…” he manages before he can feel his jaw suddenly suspend shut, prohibiting the next words from coming out. Panicked, he turns to his right, tugging at Soobin’s sweater.

Soobin resolves to take over, “He’s been struggling these past few weeks… and he’s coping in ways that we haven’t gotten the chance to fully understand.” He's straightforward as always, close to being insensitive but not quite. Somewhat relieved, Kai breathes steadily, preparing to reclaim his speech.

“Y-yes, so… I want to tell you what’s going on.” He sighs, staring at the ground dolefully. “I’m having… emotional issues, and, when they get overwhelming, I start to act differently.”

“Yeah? How?” Yeonjun urges him. 

“I…” he trails off again.

“Usually, he’ll behave a lot younger- somewhere between the ages of two and four- and, for an immeasurable amount of time, he’ll need some sort of supervision.” Huening Kai’s eyes considerably widen. Despite having experienced such situations, their severity comes as a shock to him. The members, too, are aghast in their own right. 

“…What?” His fellow maknae doesn’t quite get it.

“Hueningie is… someone who’s age regresses as a result of emotional turmoil.” Soobin sounds like an expert on the matter, while the rest hastily attempt to follow.

“He… acts like a child?”

“Mhm,” he hums. Huneing Kai's heart thumps painfully, feeling ashamed.

“Okay.”

“Okay?” Kai can’t help but question, vulnerable.

“I understand, Huening-ah,” Taehyun whispers. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

“Right!” Beomgyu smiles. “We’ll gladly take care of you.”

“No matter what…”

“Okay…” Kai lets out a nervous laugh. “Thank you.”

“This Sunday…”

“Huh?”

“…Huening and I planned to make some time for his headspace.” Soobin scratches the back of his neck. “Would it be okay with you?”

“Of course…” the eldest answers, nodding approvingly. “Will you need any help?” Soobin looks over to Huening Kai.

“I don’t think so, Hyeong,” he speaks for himself, luckily.

“Not yet.”

Shyly, Taehyun interrupts, “May we… observe?” Kai’s breath hitches softly. It would require so much more trust than he’s ever put in his members for them to witness him in that state, but, deep within, he wants to believe that they are trustworthy people who can learn from seeing such a sight. Soobin did, after all, and his relationship with Kai has gotten better for it since.

“I… don’t know,” Huening exhales, uncertain. “Soobin?”

“If they watch, they’ll know what to look out for in the future. There’s still so much they don’t know; we haven’t described how things are in detail. If, maybe, you’d like them to know better, then it might not be a bad idea for us to agree.” Kai buries his face into both hands, torn. 

“I would like that.” Out of his sight, Yeonjun sends the leader a grateful smile for his contribution. Left in the dark, they truly couldn’t have had a clue as to what to do without him.

“Let’s?” It doesn’t take much to convince Kai.

“Let’s.”

* * *

Huening Kai crawls into Soobin’s arms in silence. For long, he stays there, tears falling endlessly.

“I’m sorry, Baby,” Soobin whispers. “…so, so sorry.” They’re settled on the bathroom floor, rushing water working to shelter the noise; so, he cries without inhibition. 

The showering water is hot, scalding almost; steam rises in the air, swift and serene. Spangled by a mixture of the water vapor and his own tears, Kai steps out of his trance. His weight, which had been left for Soobin to carry, returns to him, and he whines sorely.

“S-s-sorry…”

“It’s okay…” Strength regained, Huening hugs him tightly. “Are you ready?” He nods against Soobin’s body, and he’s pulled up onto his feet, supported by the steady arm around his waist. He blinks once or twice before taking the first step past the shower curtains. 

Kai refuses to let go of Soobin. He simply bends down to rest his head against the other’s chest, letting the hot water pour down his shoulders.

“Thank you, Hyeong.”

“Anytime.”

After minutes of pure silence pass, Kai asks, “You know something, Hyeong?”

“Hm… What?” 

He giggles before stating, “The way you talk is… really strange.”

“Well, shit…” Huening Kai laughs out loud.

“When I didn’t know what to say,” he continues. “You helped me a lot.”

Grinning, Soobin responds, “I’m happy to help, Kai-yah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading~ let me know what you think :)


End file.
